Teardowns / Coach & consultant

Three coaching pages, roasted

A coach sells the rarest thing there is: judgement earned over years. Then the page describes it in words every other coach also uses, so the visitor cannot tell the expert from the enthusiast. These three are patterns I see weekly, rebuilt so the expertise shows.

Roast Nº 01 · executive coachpattern: the vague transformation
Leadership coach the "unlock your potential" hero

Fifteen years coaching VPs through their first executive role, and the hero says "empowering leaders to unlock their full potential." It could sit on any of ten thousand coaching pages. The reader cannot tell whether this is a seasoned operator or someone who finished a certification last month.

Before
Empowering leaders to unlock their full potential
A transformational coaching experience to help you become the best version of yourself.
CTA: Book a free discovery call
After
For the engineer who just got promoted to running the engineers
The first 90 days as a VP, when your old skills stop working. I have walked 40 first-time execs through exactly this.
CTA: See if the next cohort fits

What is breaking

  1. Interchangeable hero: "unlock your potential" describes no specific person or problem.
  2. No buyer named: "leaders" is everyone, so it is no one.
  3. Expertise invisible: fifteen years of judgement does not appear anywhere above the fold.
  4. Premature ask: "book a call" before the visitor knows this coach is for them specifically.
  5. Adjective fog: transformational, full potential, best version, none of it is testable.

The fixes, ranked by ROI

  1. Name the exact reader: the newly promoted engineering VP, in their own words.
  2. Name the exact moment: the first 90 days, when old skills stop working.
  3. Put the proof up: 40 first-time execs walked through this specific transition.
  4. Lower the ask: "see if it fits" before "book a call".
  5. Cut every word that fits any coach: if a rival could paste it, it goes.
ResultThe right reader feels named on line one, and fifteen years of judgement finally reads as fifteen years instead of a certificate.
Roast Nº 02 · business consultantpattern: feature list, no buyer
Scaling consultant the "strategy, systems, growth" hero

A consultant who has taken three agencies past €2M lists their services as "strategy, systems and growth for ambitious businesses." Three abstractions and an adjective. The founder who needs exactly this cannot see themselves in it, because "ambitious businesses" is every business that has ever bought a domain.

Before
Strategy, systems and growth for ambitious businesses
I help businesses scale with proven frameworks and a results-driven approach.
CTA: Learn more
After
Your agency is stuck at €1M because you are still the bottleneck
I have taken three agencies past €2M by getting the founder out of delivery. Here is the system that does it.
CTA: Read the bottleneck audit

What is breaking

  1. Service soup: strategy, systems, growth, three words that name a category, not a result.
  2. Buyer is "everyone": "ambitious businesses" lets no specific founder self-identify.
  3. Proof missing: the €2M track record never reaches the first screen.
  4. No felt pain: nothing references the founder being the bottleneck at €1M.
  5. "Learn more" defers: the CTA postpones rather than invites.

The fixes, ranked by ROI

  1. Lead with the felt ceiling: stuck at €1M because you are the bottleneck.
  2. Name the buyer precisely: the agency founder, not "ambitious businesses".
  3. Put the number up: three agencies past €2M, on line two.
  4. Offer a sample, not a call: "read the bottleneck audit" gives value before the ask.
  5. Turn frameworks into one system: name the single thing that breaks the ceiling.
ResultAn agency founder at €1M recognises their own ceiling in the headline and reaches the CTA already believing this person has seen the other side of it.
Roast Nº 03 · career coachpattern: about me, not about you
Career coach the "my journey" hero

The hero opens with the coach's story: "after 20 years in corporate, I found my calling helping others." Warm, sincere, and entirely about the seller. The visitor came carrying a specific problem, a stalled career, and the first screen makes them read someone else's memoir before it speaks to theirs.

Before
After 20 years in corporate, I found my calling helping others
My mission is to guide you to a more fulfilling career and life.
CTA: My story
After
You are good at your job and have not moved in three years
I help mid-career professionals get the promotion or the exit they have been circling. 20 years inside corporate, now on your side of the table.
CTA: Find my next move

What is breaking

  1. Seller-first hero: the opening line is the coach's biography, not the visitor's problem.
  2. Vague outcome: "fulfilling career and life" is a wish, not a specific change.
  3. No buyer named: "others" is the whole working world.
  4. The hero is a memoir: the visitor's own three stalled years go unmentioned.
  5. CTA points inward: "My story" sends the visitor away from their own need.

The fixes, ranked by ROI

  1. Open on the reader's stuck point: good at the job, not moved in three years.
  2. Name the concrete win: the promotion or the clean exit.
  3. Keep the credential, reposition it: 20 years inside, now on your side of the table.
  4. Specify the buyer: mid-career professionals, not "others".
  5. CTA points at them: "find my next move" is the visitor's outcome, not the coach's tale.
ResultThe visitor sees their own stalled three years in the first line, and the coach's twenty years become evidence for the reader's case instead of the page's opening anecdote.

Your coaching page probably sounds like the others.

It is the most common leak in expertise-led pages, and the most fixable. Send me the link. I write back this exact breakdown, with your hero rewritten, within two hours for €25.

Roast my coaching page, €25
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